Been a long time, baby.

It's been a long time in every sense of that word.  I've been writing, though. In notebooks instead of on a computer.  In notebooks, on real paper, my handwriting fills up the space differently than it does on a browser and I like that.  I also like that I can write before I go to bed under the soft light of an ancient snake lamp that happened to be in the room to which I've been relegated.

Friends have graduated from college. Friends that aren't that much older than me. Damn. I guess I don't have much to say about it other than that I can't imagine going back to school without all these people.  I'll still be happy to go already.

I feel so different at home than I do at school.  At school I'm more confident and I have some sort of future. I swagger. I wear sunglasses when I go outside to make sure I don't have to worry about recognizing people. I wear whatever I want and I don't worry that my hair sticks up in the morning. Here I'm a different kind of person because I have a past here. I'm the less athletic, the more artsy, the sweet Gretel, even if I'm a little odd, I'm the epitomized girl-next-door. 

And I hate it.