I am way too much of a stereotype for my own good

From the Jezebel site and inspired by a conversation I had last night. Things I have done/worn are in red. Clarifications are in brackets and in purple.

Dress Code (Unless The Lesbian Is The Femme)

• Appropriate footwear: Birkenstocks, Airwalks, chucks, Doc Martens or sports sandals. Socks are never optional [I actually abhore wearing socks, and do so only because my feet get really gross in the summer. That said, the only time I have ever worn socks with my Chacos was when I was pretending to be Super Awkward. That said, I have worn wool socks with Birkenstock sandals].
• Make-up: not allowed.
• Undergarments: Bras are frowned upon.
• Appropriate tops: flannel, more flannel [I actually wish I owned more flannel, but I am working on a quilt made out of flannel], folksy prints and Polar fleece.
• Appropriate bottoms: jeans, cords, jean shorts or walking shorts.
• "Hygiene": Shaving of armpits or legs is frowned upon [I have, and will continue to shave religiously because I don't want to look like the missing link like my brother].
• Accessories may include: Nalgene bottles [Actually, now its a Sigg bottle since my Nalgene got stolen]; carabiners; keys at your belt; fanny packs [it's a lumbar pack]; femme lesbians who only dress girly for the attention or to get a real man [Not a femme fan].

Score: 14/23

Lifestyle Attributes

• Appropriate automobiles: Saabs, pickup trucks, Subaru Outbacks, Jeep Wranglers, Xterras, Mini Coopers and Volvos [Booyah! I ride a bike! Hmm, maybe that's not the least dykey mode of transportation. Nor is my last car, a Toyota Corolla].
• Pop cultural influences: Melissa Etheridge; Ani DiFranco; Indigo Girls; and The L Word. No exceptions.
• Pets: At least one cat, and preferably more [I hate cats. Why aren't there dogs on this?].
• Food: Vegetarians preferred [Been there, done that. I will only be an omnivore from now on]
  
• Colleges/alma maters: Smith; Bryn Mawr; Mount Holyoke; and Wellesley.
• Partner choices: Recruiting straight women preferred.
• Career choices: P.E. teacher; basketball player; softball player; and professional golfer.

Score: 2/22 I feel this one is a little rigged though because you can't own all those cars at once. Plus, lesbians are poor. This one is.

Psychology

• History: Must have been abused.
• Oedipal Complex: Hatred of fathers, except when they over-identify with them.
• Childhood Obsessions: Monkeys as pets.
• Adult Obsessions: Hating men.
• Penis Envy: Yes.
• Child lust: No.

Score: 5 /7. To be fair, the Penis envy is only because I make penis jokes approximately 30 times per day, and child lust is wrong so even if I did have that why would I admit it. And any interesting girl had a dream of owning a monkey for a pet.

Sex & Relationships

• Onset of lesbianism: College — until graduation, in some cases.
• Conversion: Lesbians can be converted with one internal application of human penis.
• Madonna/Whore Complex: Many are technically virgins, because they've never gotten down with a dude.
• Roles: Every lesbian relationship has a butch and a femme.
• Timing: Lesbians move in together on the second date.
• Sex: Once two lesbians move in together, they will never have sex again.
• Break Ups: Bunny boiling provides the maximum drama all lesbians require.

Score: 2/8. To be fair, the Conversion was obviously proven wrong, and I've never really had the chance to move in with someone. Bunny boiling drama on the break-up front though. Christ almighty.

Total: 25/60
Less than half lesbian stereotype!